It’s funny, in a lot of ways, different parts of the internet act differently from each other. I just got myself absolutely muted in a server for being generally not good to be around and sounding like an artificial intelligence like siri? Some person suggested that I do their homework? I think this is way off from what is true in the world. I know I talk somewhat like a machine, not really out of desire but since I used machine coded languages and texts as if they were friends. I guess this sort of maladaptive lifestyle is common for people who have been given up on.
They were quick to outcast and yell at me without waiting for the chance to talk, choosing (as most people did) to hammer and flatten my words out instead of listening to me. I shouldn’t be surprised by this, as it’s a common thing among outcasted, disliked, and generally unworthy people to sort of get rid of someone who doesn’t fit neatly into their social system? Also they all used the at button at the same time, which I quite liked. They kept mentioning the text style I used, which was somewhat sad. I almost wish I could actually be a person, but I think the truth of reality is that even though while I smile and talk like a human being, I don’t think I was ever fully classified as one. I think being someone who is a true, full member of society is only a recent social development, and I feel old enough to know that I’m no more sophisticated than using two pointy sticks. It’s awful in some ways, but mostly I should be ok with being thrown out of where I loved the most for being too poor and bad, right?
I know a part of being happy is accepting the lot in life you’ve been given. I guess I have to do that on the way to being an even more disliked and evil figure to people, right?
It messes me up the youngest girl to become pregnant was four in Peru, while everyone else was older than she was. She couldn’t have a life or something of her own and people were willing to preserve such a terrible thing to happen to someone else. Do you think on the planet, that would be the ending of humanity? An infant pregnant with her father’s child still inside her mother’s womb, or an elderly man still depending on his mother’s dowry? I don’t know, the world is so incorrect and people are desperate to escape their poor and desperate situation.
I worry in part for myself but also for people around me, and I know that sort of behavior is extremely disliked when put into practice, I guess it just seems so pointless when people can’t handle the spotlight or scrutiny put upon themselves yet expect to know this information about others? I hope hypocrisy is the word for it.
Sometimes, I assume with hyperbole or a roast in mind, people ask me how I’m still alive. Mostly because people love and care about me, a sentiment that is rapidly fading. I have no doubt it will continue to be this messed up.
Sometimes I wonder what it is to actually be a five star person, or someone who is actually marvelous, but really I don’t know. It feels ironic that people hated comic books and ridiculed nerds in the past, but now it’s been used for money. It feels bad knowing that actors make fun of nerd culture, and that even though these people make huge amounts of money and travel around the world, they’re still brutally mocked and teased. It’s even implied this level of society is incredibly low, so if this level is one of the worst in the world, than what am I?
I’m sure this level of cruelty and lack of understanding has gotten me into massive trouble. I’ve already been mostly labelled with reasons to not be chosen for anything reasonable, to be someone who lived and died a pointless life trying someone’s clothing that will never fit, hated by all and so late on in the process so as to be unworth any time. Seen as a bitch and a butch and some slab of meat with a face, right? not even a being who is a neat person, after being so hurt and damaged.
What’s the fucking point? What’s the reason to slave away for these thirty four hours, on a meaningless dimensionless thing without even a reason to say hello to friends who used to like me but have moved on? What’s the point of constantly trying to increase my social circle, to be falsely guessed on, or simply to be forgotten and left alone, to be rejected and then to have my inventions used on the city we live in? Shit, what’s the point? Isn’t some of the misery in this being someone who can’t even protect herself, or otherwise to be so mistreated and abused, to be forgotten about and to join in the decay of our lives?
I wish people weren’t so territorial, so likely to hit women, to be so awful to each other as to make life not worth living. I was blocked so many times and really shit on by other people, it actually wasn’t anything but a comedic torture by the end of it. I know that’s not what I was supposed to get from it, but it’s what I ended up coming to terms with.
god, how much surgery do people have to do to feel comfortable with themselves?
There’s a lot of things wrong with me, but one thing is for sure: it’s really nice to have this site as a place where I can erite and be listened to, otherwise I’d be scared of being cast as a villain and never breaking out of that role, or being pidgeonholed so hard you couldn’t even take flight. Everyone hated Frida Kahlo too. I’m sure they disliked Picasso as well. I guess it’s a fact people hate who I am.
Is it better than dying, or is this another industrial plot to cycle people through the system since you don’t know what to do with them? Is that why we live so long? because you can’t kill us all the right way, so we have to live in uncertainty, trained for things we don’t even really care about.
Whatever. I’ll go do something fake and low numbered and pretend I really enjoyed it.
Bye,
Jacklyn Yeh
Oh, here’s a photo from the twitter of some anglo saxon who was obsessed with british rule for some reason? i can’t find the photo nevermind. here’s a better one
You like quietly cribbed photos from google right? https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjmoJSuwYT3AhUyoXIEHfoGAOcQjhx6BAgBEAI&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.sadanduseless.com%2Fcards-against-humanity-answers%2F&psig=AOvVaw0GJ4zfquXsZU4JobrqOfHU&ust=1649508824990079 i didn’t ask for rights. here’s a link instead.
lol actually ive been caleld sus so many times it could just end up being a part of my username. Banned Sus.