A short guide on being a social reject

  1. deny
  2. humor
  3. ???
  4. profit

Oh yea the place I was talking about is 4cahn, the forum. there’s like a ton of forums and that one is infamous for some reason? idk maybe it’s just the easiest one to talk about online.

I guess there’s a lot of things the internet can be used for, maybe I should try to do something good with whatever I have… but nah, I think I’ll just act like an idiot and succumb to decay. Sorry to disappoint. The terms for people like me either are pity or ”blowing off.” I guess I just feel small, like even in a society of short people I’m still very short.

Undertale, but nobody came

Twitter and the internet are always offering me serious topics and people are often asking me how I’m doing, on account of the insults and hatred which is directed at me. I can say I’m doing poorly, but that won’t change the years of damage done. Supposedly I even self sabotage— I take the stance that we are a failed experiment, and whatever we (as in everyone) do doesn’t matter, including others when they harm me. To me, all actions are like moving the sand, and you will be ended by the earth’s movements as quickly as you were conceived. (Oooooo sex joke, way to remind everyone that u are a fetish, writer).

stan being the beaten down not the winner



I keep going onto forums and such thinking I’m going to find content which I like, completely forgetting that most people in the world don’t agree with my tastes. Now I feel bad.
I want to post on the internet and contribute to it, but I find that getting flamed really sucks and dissuades me from posting. I don’t want to post online if the result would be mockery and then being yelled at. There’s also the fact that I don’t want to be a degenerate, but the internet makes everyone into a rake.

I know I leave a lot to be desired as a person. I hope you would stick by me, even with all my flaws.



Note: I don’t know what it would take to be a good person or even to be small and desirable.

extra note: i don’t want to be someone even more foolish and bullied or mocked by society than I am today; I already feel hated and stereotyped. I don’t want to be like an affable loser who licks her wounds, I’d like to be a champion. I guess I would like to be a part of a larger movement, one not stewed in antonyms and antagonists, something livable and even if polluted or disgusting, at least something I recognize in the mirror.

The complaining song

My hair is bad and my grandma died the other day

The planet’s heating up and there’s no chance to be happy

Inflation’s high

Girls are sad

We’re all sick

It’s getting bad

Deal with it!

Complaing song

Complaining song

We all sing the complainging song

When we’re disempowered and misinformed

We complain about thinfs all day done

And there’s a crux to this

A real solution to this

If we gathered around

And acted on our feelings


Complaining song

Compoaining song

We all sing the complaining song

Complaining song

Complaining song

We all aing the complainging song

Taxes are high

(It doesn’t matter)

My fiance died

(Oh yoyr heart shattered)

Complainging song

Complaining song

We all sing the complaining song 

Complaining song

Complaining song

We all sing the complaaainning song

Maybe it would be better to write about other people, but I don’t want to at all. I feel similar to the writer of that tiger mom book: disguising my lack of interest in someone else’s life and story by claiming he or she should write their own story, knowing full well most people probably wouldn’t do so🚸.

oh, I also played GTA V for the first time today. I actually feel alarmed by my actions in the game, but mostly I am just glad my character is beefy enough to take the hits, and that you can restart missions if you fail.

As for Discord, I joined and left some groups. not much to report there.
i might try to make a scroll machine in a couple of days, some art which will take up the screen and could need to be parsed through. i might do that. maybe.


OH DIP TONIGHt gonna go look at some lights in the sky


To Phish or Be Phished

I was recently phished, as the title implies, and while I did not lose anything, it leaves me to wonder why there is so much phishing in the world. I guess it’s a good way to make ends meet. So there it is: To Be Phished is the way of life.

I see websites which post helpful content get more views, but I kind of like putting down whatever scribbles or thoughts I have on here. I mostly think about personality and pseudo personality tests (Myers Briggs among other tests.) What fun they are! I really enjoy such studies, even if I find the results on personality perplexing. I think humanity’s attempts to understand herself can go to extremes, but at least this set of tests seems benign.

I think I am a scholarly and thoughtful person, who is somewhat traditional but open to new things. I feel like a lot of what I do could be described in the evil category, though there is supposed to be more good than evil in the world?

It’s either personality or looking at Wikipedia articles on either pop culture or personal definition. Either way, I think the world is better for the internet as our curiosity drives us forward to new worlds.

I was watching Star Trek recently, which I guess could alter my writing.

I’m sure there’s some feelings like “ugh” which could be used to describe my writing. I’d like to make a banned story reaction character, but the website no longer exists in the form I’m used to, so I’ll just have to describe her.

“Ugh” face, black sunflower hair, tanned skin, pink dress or bathrobe, level 5 adventurer. No weapon equipped.

I miss the free fun that was had when I was young, though I’m sure there’s still much out there that I don’t know about.

Back to video games I go…


Places I’ve been to and am at

I guess I’ve seen a lot around the world. I don’t know if I’d like to travel more or less, but from what I have seen, the world is a remarkable and nice place. I’m sure I should be more concerned, but I’m just not. No names or faces in this post: only what was and talking a little bit.

Even though I complain a lot about life, sometimes it is really nice.


A Lot Of Accounts

I have a lot of internet accounts and tons of emails and such… I don’t know what to do about all this. I feel like I’m horribly balanced, and I don’t know if I could ever be better. In other news, I threw some sharp things at a target today with more to come… They say August is the most common month to vacation. This remains true!


Summertime and What to Do

I just went for a walk outside and the weather is so moist and humid, it builds up with electricity and then pours quickly and without warning. It’s no wonder this area is known for its coast for the air ripples with the masculine (yea i said that) potential of a son. Even still, there’s more delicacy than most (including myself) are comfortable with. I was thinking about how I live and even sleep, and about how I currently live in a Western style while I am from an Eastern civilization. Parts of me long to return to such a life, despite rumors of sickness, lack of representation and disease, if not for the fact that I blend in enough to say it’s my home. I don’t know if I should stay this way (hating and full of negative tones and remarks). Maybe I’ll end up getting sent to an even worse, more desolate and vermin filled area, with age and longer times of waiting between events.

And fat people.

So what to do while I await the day I suddenly panic and die? Who knows. Maybe I’ll be someone who find an occupation, or maybe I’ll just stay insulted and a minority for my entire life, never to break out of the “Asian Ghetto” or whatever you call where (and how) I live. Typecast for life. I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about it. Most of the time I am already a part of the masses, unacknowledged and with someone else in the limelight. I’ll just go back to playing Minecraft.

In the meanwhile: what to do about all these comments? Who knows.


this month

last month was glad month

jk last month was pride month but bear with me here

this month is sad month

This is why i said the month was sad
I want someone to go with me >.<

Honestly idk what else to post on here. I’m still not a good person. Ugliness from the inside, cheap goods, old news and uncool, etc etc. I spent about <5 hours on social media and have gained nothing from it. What dooooo ? note: lazy and easy answers only plz i’m real tired of being rejected flat out or being met by other (as my mom put it) crazy ex girlfriends (including me as an ex girlfriend). :/ she even described me as calm :/ Mom Problems (alas)


Beach and July

Hype for July, it’s a great month. Sunny, hot, and filled with mosquitos. My mom is trying to convince me to play sports with her but I’ve dedicated myself to doing things like blogging instead.

Trying to upload videos but it’s not going right now. I might forget to update, but it’s essentially firework footage. Tomorrow should be a good day for more fireworks to go off too.

My mom said I have no self control. This is true and a common problem to have, I think. I feel somewhat bothered by being a dangerous person who probably would live outside in a poor trash infested hole, but whatever I guess. Trying to put the videos up right now.



cuphead is so incredibly hard so immensely difficult such a pain but it’s soooo fun uggggh. i’m a little cup… a small cup… i want to win against this robot guy. (playing dr kahl’s robot rn) and the delicious last course is fun af too… so hard… *dies* so many deaths in game… i’m tryin to get all the items too (lol hidden coins ftw). so hard. will play again.



For a long time I desired to be somewhat perfect and still do; I often find you are limited based on things outside of your control, and while that makes me a loser or uncool, I hope feeling this way is still understood and accepted by others. One time I invited a classmate over and she accepted. While she was over I was asking if I should consider myself one way or another and she responded that I’m probably less accepted than I think I am. While it was a taste of humble pie, I’m glad for the experience, as it was a somewhat true answer to who I am.

all stories aside, I feel somewhat disheartened by where I stand in the world, even seen by people who care about me. Maybe the daily violence and lateness experienced is somewhat earned.

Even though I am uncertain, I’ll post this writing anyway. Maybe I’ll spend this time (since I have little to do in the next week) going through my comments again? Most people say things like that are a fools errand or impossible task, yet I want to make it through anyway. I’m worried I’ll mark some things which are meant to be ”correctly submitted” wrongly and other ”incorrect answers” as right, or that I’ll end up insulting someone who I like again, but whatever happens when I choose what to publish, I will do it with certainty