Feeling down? Lonely? All your friends die somehow, or get married, or leave the country? Try the instant friend machine! It’ll give you a friend any day of the week. You can talk to it, and a friend will come up from this circle right here!
With this friend machine that speaks your language, you’ll never feel lonely again. You can go to outer space and come back with a monkey companion. Best of all, your friend will always be there for you whenever you need him, her, or whatever gender preference you have. Come on down to the website where you can get one for 3 layered circles (not sundial approved).
