I have a lot of internet accounts and tons of emails and such… I don’t know what to do about all this. I feel like I’m horribly balanced, and I don’t know if I could ever be better. In other news, I threw some sharp things at a target today with more to come… They say August is the most common month to vacation. This remains true!
I just went for a walk outside and the weather is so moist and humid, it builds up with electricity and then pours quickly and without warning. It’s no wonder this area is known for its coast for the air ripples with the masculine (yea i said that) potential of a son. Even still, there’s more delicacy than most (including myself) are comfortable with. I was thinking about how I live and even sleep, and about how I currently live in a Western style while I am from an Eastern civilization. Parts of me long to return to such a life, despite rumors of sickness, lack of representation and disease, if not for the fact that I blend in enough to say it’s my home. I don’t know if I should stay this way (hating and full of negative tones and remarks). Maybe I’ll end up getting sent to an even worse, more desolate and vermin filled area, with age and longer times of waiting between events.
And fat people.
So what to do while I await the day I suddenly panic and die? Who knows. Maybe I’ll be someone who find an occupation, or maybe I’ll just stay insulted and a minority for my entire life, never to break out of the “Asian Ghetto” or whatever you call where (and how) I live. Typecast for life. I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about it. Most of the time I am already a part of the masses, unacknowledged and with someone else in the limelight. I’ll just go back to playing Minecraft.
In the meanwhile: what to do about all these comments? Who knows.
last month was glad month
jk last month was pride month but bear with me here
this month is sad month
Honestly idk what else to post on here. I’m still not a good person. Ugliness from the inside, cheap goods, old news and uncool, etc etc. I spent about <5 hours on social media and have gained nothing from it. What dooooo ? note: lazy and easy answers only plz i’m real tired of being rejected flat out or being met by other (as my mom put it) crazy ex girlfriends (including me as an ex girlfriend). :/ she even described me as calm :/ Mom Problems (alas)
Hype for July, it’s a great month. Sunny, hot, and filled with mosquitos. My mom is trying to convince me to play sports with her but I’ve dedicated myself to doing things like blogging instead.
Trying to upload videos but it’s not going right now. I might forget to update, but it’s essentially firework footage. Tomorrow should be a good day for more fireworks to go off too.
My mom said I have no self control. This is true and a common problem to have, I think. I feel somewhat bothered by being a dangerous person who probably would live outside in a poor trash infested hole, but whatever I guess. Trying to put the videos up right now.
cuphead is so incredibly hard so immensely difficult such a pain but it’s soooo fun uggggh. i’m a little cup… a small cup… i want to win against this robot guy. (playing dr kahl’s robot rn) and the delicious last course is fun af too… so hard… *dies* so many deaths in game… i’m tryin to get all the items too (lol hidden coins ftw). so hard. will play again.
For a long time I desired to be somewhat perfect and still do; I often find you are limited based on things outside of your control, and while that makes me a loser or uncool, I hope feeling this way is still understood and accepted by others. One time I invited a classmate over and she accepted. While she was over I was asking if I should consider myself one way or another and she responded that I’m probably less accepted than I think I am. While it was a taste of humble pie, I’m glad for the experience, as it was a somewhat true answer to who I am.
all stories aside, I feel somewhat disheartened by where I stand in the world, even seen by people who care about me. Maybe the daily violence and lateness experienced is somewhat earned.
Even though I am uncertain, I’ll post this writing anyway. Maybe I’ll spend this time (since I have little to do in the next week) going through my comments again? Most people say things like that are a fools errand or impossible task, yet I want to make it through anyway. I’m worried I’ll mark some things which are meant to be ”correctly submitted” wrongly and other ”incorrect answers” as right, or that I’ll end up insulting someone who I like again, but whatever happens when I choose what to publish, I will do it with certainty